Our SingleGirl B is chiming in on our whole break up series. Yes, as we march on to 2012, we have a few more things to say about breaking up with 2011…

Since the beginning of relationships the term “break-up” has always had a negative connotation attached to it. We’ve all been there. We’ve all heard the mourning of others over our lost relationships,    “OH, I’m so sorry,” or “You can do so much better,” and how can we forget “There are other fish in the sea.”

So as a single girl, who has experienced her fair share of break-ups, I’m here to say that break-ups don’t have to be necessarily bad, in fact, break-ups can sometimes even be good.

With that being said, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve had bad break-ups.  I’ve had my heart stomped on, I’ve kept “It’s Called a Break-Up Because It’s Broken,” beside my bed and read it as if it was the bible.  I’ve even showed up at my ex’s door at 3am, hoping the stench of tequila on my breath and the smear of mascara under my eyes would win him back.  But, as I’ve aged, and (hopefully)matured, I’ve decided to start looking at the positive side of things, and  I’ve come to the conclusion that break-ups actually have their benefits.

So here they are, drum roll please, the top 5 benefits of a break-up.

Number 5- You finally get the whole bed back.

Now this benefit should not be under estimated.  I know many happy couples who will openly admit that often they prefer a good dose of R.E.M as opposed to a wild night of passion.  When it’s just you in the bed, you never have to worry about getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, tossing and turning when you have something on your mind, or staying in a parallel position all night long.  The bed is all yours, so you are free to sleep diagonally, mumble at your pleasure, and even turn the light on in the middle of the night to finish a good book.  This is a sign of true freedom.

Number 4- Break-ups give you the opportunity to reconnect with friends.

I am currently the closest to my friends that I have been in a very long time, and I proudly contribute it to my singlehood.  When you are unattached, you have the time to maintain the relationships with your friends and make new ones.  Whether it is a nightly phone conversation, weekly dinner exchange, or a trip out of town to drink like you are back in college, more free time gives you more friend time.  As much as we hate to admit, and promise ourselves we will never be “those girls,” when we are in a relationship our friendships inevitably suffer.  We often forget that our friendships should be just as important as a relationship with a significant other, and they deserve our attention too.

Number 3- Break ups give you the opportunity to go fishing…

Get your rod, get your bait and hook (AKA get your purse, single girlfriends, and favorite cute skirt) and head out on the town to cast a line.  I must say there is something so invigorating about going out on a Friday night with no commitments, not the slightest clue of what is going to happen, and an open playing field to meet anyone. When you’re single you have the opportunity to meet other singles everywhere.  It’s like we’re dogs and can sniff each other out by our scents.  Although we may not always meet our Romeo, we can at the very least find someone to share a laugh with, make a new friend, or meet someone who will make an awesome story to tell your friends. (Please refer to blog 2- The First Date Blues)

Number 2- Break ups give you the opportunity to get to know yourself…

This is one of the most significant benefits of a break-up.  Three years ago I moved to this wonderful city with my long term boyfriend, he was going to grad school at Penn, I was starting a new job, we were beginning a life together and we were going to live happily ever after, or so I thought.  Within two months of relocating, our relationships came to a screeching halt, and I was devastated. (Yes, this is where the 3am tequila rendezvous ensued).

So after a few months of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I started doing things on my own again.  I realized I actually preferred going to the grocery store solo, I dug out my running shoes and started seriously training, I actually started enjoying yoga, and met an entire new group of incredible friends.  As much as I hate to admit it, when I was in that relationship I totally lost track of who I was and what I enjoyed.  I was too worried about trying to make him happy and becoming who he wanted me to be. We were spending nearly all of our free time together, and neither of us was getting the opportunity to create ourselves in this new city.

Break ups force use to be on our own, which forces us to gain a better understanding of what we enjoy and need.   Almost every single one of my friends who has been through a traumatic breakup has become a better person because of it.  As Tyler Durden says, “It’s only when we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

Number 1- Break ups occur because something is broken.

This by far the most obvious, yet the most important reasons a break up can be a positive thing.  If you’re experiencing a break up, it’s because either you or your partner are not happy in the current situation. You can stop walking on eggshells around one another, you can avoid the over aggressive attempts to try and please him, it’s over, and you’re free to be yourself.  Besides, why would you ever want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with you?  Being happy and content on your own is the greatest feelings you can have and you will never experience it if you keep yourself locked down in an unhappy relationship.  The best revenge you can ever have on the person who broke your heart is moving on from them and becoming a better person because of it.

So yes indeed, Break-ups can be a good thing. So forget the negative connotation, and replace it with a positive one, break-ups mean breaking free, breaking out, and breaking through.

So, earlier this week we started our monologue on why we need to break up with 2011.  So far, we’ve tackled work and carbs…both things that seem to make us fat. Now it is time to tackle boys and shoes. Deep breath. We DO love shoes. Shoes, why do you not return the affection?

You know it is time to break up with your shoes when:

1. Wearing them literally makes you cry.

2. The nail in the heel is exposed (again) and you are making a clickity-clack sound walking down the office hallway. If your loud footsteps are followed by murmurs of  “the wicked witch is coming!” then you may need to purchase new shoes over lunch break. We just gave you permission.

3. You observe anyone over the age of 60 with the same pair.

4. You observe anyone under the age of 10 with the same pair.

5. They are Uggs.

You know it is time to break up with boys when:

1. Facebook tells you that you are no longer in a relationship.

2. If you find yourself seeing other people. You know, besides the man you are dating.

3. When you ask: “Where is this going?” and he says: “to the movies?…..”

4. You frequently draw a blank when asked his name. Consider the matter urgent if it’s his first name.

5. Either of you have an active online dating profile.

6. When people ask you how your relationship is going, and you respond: “Relationship?”

7. If someone asks you about marriage and the thought of marrying your boyfriend makes you breathe into a paper bag. And not in a good way (Is there a good way?)

CG Nation, what have we missed?

Fellow citizens of CG Nation: We are here to say that 2011 has made us tired. I mean, it’s been a year. Some good, some REALLY bad, but a year. A kick in the pants spit in our drink and look up our skirt repeatedly kind of year.  And now, we are over it. We ARE OVER it.  So, we are going to spend the rest of this year breaking up with 2011.  2011,  you are dead to us.  And, it is time to walk away.  Or alternatively, sprint to our couch and refuse to come out until you are over. So there.  Suck it.

So to kick-start the break-up talk, here is our list of why you sometimes need to break up with things. Like years, or boys, or carbs. Yup. We said it. Carbs.

You know you need to break up with carbs when:

1. You realize that for breakfast you had bread, with a side of bread. And some pie. And that you had eaten the same thing yesterday….and the day before that.

2. You find yourself in the kitchen breaking into your secret bread stash, and trying to hide it from yourself.  But you are in the kitchen with you, so your plan has a major flaw. Shut up and pass the bread.

3. You swear the mashed potatoes are talking to you. Again.

You know what else can suck? Work.  So, here is what we have to say about that.

You know it is time to break up with work when:

1. You can’t look your boss in the eye without thinking about strangling him/her.  And your concern is not the murder, but where in fact you will stash the body (filing cabinet?).

2. When you wake up in the morning and it is Saturday, you do a snoopy happy dance. When you wake up and it is Wednesday, you hold your pillow and cry.

3. You consider any job a step up from where you are now.  Bank robber. Porn Star. Porn Star film director. Port-a-John cleaner. Perfume sprayer. Guy who holds the sign in the road and twirls it. Even in WINTER.

4. You notice your happy hours are starting at 4 pm. And then 3. And then you are not coming back after lunch.

5. When someone asks you how work is going, you respond with: “……..”  or “Work is fine. FINE. Why are you asking me? Why!!???” or just some maniacal laughter. Which is not at all creepy.

So, we’ll be here all month!  We personally have SO MUCH to break up with.  What do you want to kick to the curb this year? Let us know and we’ll try and post it!