Those of you who read this blog may remember my story of an ex-boyfriend who celebrated V-day by forgetting about it, even though I had sent him a cute gift reminder in the morning (to hopefully inspire him to get a card, or plan a dinner, or…you know… say “happy valentine’s day!” at some point during the day).

Granted, he was foreign but COME ON.

Anyway, over the years I have lowered my expectations about V-day, just expecting it to be another day where the chocolate I receive is from myself.  And therefore guaranteed to be good .

But then, then I met my Gentleman Caller.

And he took me to Richmond.

Sidebar: Richmond never comes to mind when I think of places to go.  It’s close enough (an hour and 20 minutes) to feel like it’s readily accessible, but far enough that I often think: “if I’m going to get off my couch, why not go to Philly/New York/Monaco instead?” and I end up going north/to Europe.  So basically, Richmond for me is like the Smithsonian: so close I don’t bother to see it, and too far from my couch for me to make a special “learning” expedition.

Anyway, my Gentleman Caller’s idea Valentine’s Day involved sweeping me away to Richmond, to the NICEST bed and breakfast I’ve ever stayed at (www.mauryplace.com — tip: pathfinder suite), with in-room massages, and a swanky dinner at a fun location.

Not to mention a beautiful card.

And yes, I am in fact gushing slightly.

Which, if anyone knows me they would understand that I am not a gusher.

But I have a point!  I had an amazing Valentine’s day weekend, and it put a smile on my face.  My GC reminded me that putting thought and planning and romance into V-day is important.  It shows the one you love that you do care.  And sometimes we all need a reminder…right? Or it’s too easy to get caught..sitting on the couch…watching ANTM….which we all know has taken a turn for the worse recently. SMIZE!

So that was Lesson number 1.

But then on Valentine’s day I got to my work and saw a card on my desk.  And I opened it–it was a sweet note from a beautiful friend.  The silly card and fun note totally made my day.  And so I had another eureka moment (drumroll and small triangle please):  What if instead of just focusing on our significant other, we focus on all our favorite people?  I feel like this is one of those “teach a man to fish” moments wherein if you hug one extra person every day then there is drinking water for the children.  You know what I mean–I know we appreciate our friends/family/spouses etc, but it’s amazing how a small effort can make someone feel so great.

Lesson number 2: People are what matters, and everyone in your life deserves to feel special.

Which brings me to Lesson number 3: Richmond is worth the visit.  Really. Cocktails are cheap!

And finally, Lesson number 4: Oh Tyra Banks, “Smizing” is a made up word.  But I have learned that if you repeat something enough, people will lose the will to live and start using it.

So, I’d like to leave my GC with this thought: I AM a delicate flower of the south. TAKE THAT.

(photo credit)

Valentine’s Day (Year Unknown)

As Valentine’s day approaches each year, I am visited by the ghosts of Valentine’s Past.  Why, you ask?  Oh, haha, let me tell you…

My Dearest and I had been dating, oh, maybe about 6 months or so, and for Valentine’s Day he suggested taking me to one of his favorite restaurants.   This is where I should mention that Dearest had very recently gone through a rather nasty “divorce” (so to speak) with his ex-girlfriend.  So, the restaurant is lovely, we are enjoying a nice martini and I decide to visit the ladies room.   While I was in the stall, another couple of ladies come out of their respective stalls and start chatting with a third person…  And “Oh My God,” I recognize the Ex’s voice.  A quick peek through the stall confirms that it is, indeed, her.  Worse, the Ex and her MOTHER are explaining to the third party that they just got their hair done and are having a special Mother-Daughter Valentine’s Day date (Doh!  Because the Ex is, well, very recently single).

They carry on this conversation for at least 10 minutes and, meanwhile, I am in the stall…waiting.  They finally leave, finally, and as I walk back to our table I see that Ex and her Mother have run into Dearest and are seemingly chatting…in a friendly enough manner.  I decide to give them a few moments… mostly because I didn’t want to face them.  After gathering my courage, I headed back to the table.  The Ex gave me the “I don’t even see you” withering glance, and, yes, I got a death-stare from the mother as they passed me to walk out of the restaurant.  Nobody should ever, EVER be death-stared by a current boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s mother!   Ah yes, I should have guessed that Dearest would take me to a favorite restaurant that  he would have discovered and enjoyed… with the Ex.

I do have to admit, the whole “mother death-eye” thing put a real damper on the rest of the evening, but it also became a great story and private joke between us.  Since that fateful Valentine’s, I typically prefer dining-in and making a special evening at home.   Just because!

I used to feel bad about being single on Valentine’s Day, but now, in my growing (but still youthful!) wisdom, I’ve decided that Valentine’s day is a time to celebrate all your loved ones, but especially the single ladies. It’s not a time to survive (more on that later) but a time to thrive! Did I mention I’ve had coffee while writing this? But I still think that there is nothing better than a good single girl’s “thrival” guide (ok, this coffee has gone to my head) in order to fully take advantage of the 14th. Actually, I’d prefer it to be a declaration, or even, dare I say it, a manifesto! A manifesto of SingleHood re: V-day. Yes. There are not enough manifestos in my life. The time is now. The day is here. (Taps microphone) Ahem:

As a card carrying Single Girl, I do declare the following:

1. It is ok to round up my friends on Valentine’s Day, go to a romantic restaurant, and be the only non-couple there. It is also ok to drink too much wine, order only dessert, stay till the restaurant kicks me out, and then go home cackling loudly for no reason.

2. It is also ok to cackle loudly at said restaurant during dinner, even if people stare. Let them stare! Bring the chocolate! Garcon!

3. As a single girl on V-day I promise to hold myself accountable….to MYSELF. That means remembering to love my friends, family, and me!

4. I will execute point 3 in anyway I see fit. With trips to the spa, flowers I buy for myself, my friends, and my stuffed animal, booking a flight to somewhere random, or not changing out of my pj’s for 3 days running.

5. I will also be bold. I WILL buy that red lipstick that I don’t need just because I like it. And furthermore, I will wear it proudly, even if only at home in my pajamas.

6. I will remember to wear my tiara for at least 10 minutes every day. It’s just gathering dust right now and I’ve always secretly thought it looks great with my pj’s/swimsuit and adds a certain je ne sais quois to my vaccuming.

7. I will remember to honor my single friends…all of whom deserve a little extra love on Valentine’s Day.

8. I will try something new just for me. Burlesque? Dance? Scrapbooking? The world is my OYSTER!

9. And I will remember that V-day is really all about love. Single, Married, Dating, Friends, Family, Strangers. V = Love.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

- From SingleGirl, with love.