Why is this cool?

Well — it’s always cool to find your passion! And, helping other people find theirs? EVEN BETTER!!

What is this coaching stuff anyway?

Coaching is pretty neat.  It is sort of like working with a personal trainer — except in this case, you are not only setting goals and working towards them, you are also focused on the things that might be holding you back — thoughts, feelings and emotions that are preventing you from achieving success.  Until you figure out exactly what is stopping you, it is really hard to make a lot of progress.

Why does this matter to me?

Are you feeling stuck in your career or life? Are you feeling lost, tired, or confused? Or do you have a dream but you have no idea how to make it happen? What is that dream worth to you? This is why coaching matters — working with a coach helps you figure all of this out, and then make it happen!

What else is cool?

Two things: 1. Did we mention that there is also a blog? Helpful tips and tools for finding yourself and your life!

2. It’s a club — so you get the support of a coach AND a network — EVEN BETTER.  So, go and check out the new site at…

www.therevolutionaryclub.com!

Brown shoes to keep the outfit mainstream. Yellow for those that want that extra pop.

(we’re kidding Ashley, um…. totally….. kidding… )

Anyway, back to Ashley. Besides her powerful proximity to a warehouse of wine, she is interesting to us in other ways. Like many of us, she wasn’t content to simply punch a clock day after day but instead decided to strike out on her own, be her own boss, and all that stuff that we all dream about. Not ONLY that, but she’s doing it with her husband/business partner Ryan (who just so happens to be a former classmate of ours from Belgium–we know, long story). So we thought, what a fascinating CityGirl life journey–finding love, marriage, wine, and your own business in one package. I mean, what a difference a few years can make, right?

Since she’s pretty much living our dream, we were eager to pick her brain and find out a little more about how she pulled this off. We’re also curious about that shiny mane of blonde hair and, worry not, we asked about that too.

Without further ado, meet Ashley!

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CGW: Hi Ashley! Let’s start with the basics. Name, place of birth, education?

A: My married name is Ashley Grace Sytsma. I used to be Ashley (no middle name) Southwick. I had a hard time ditching the part of my name that had to do with my heritage. And since “Ashley Southwick-Sytsma” seemed like a mouthful, I took my mother’s middle name as my own to hold onto some of my pedigree.

I am thirty years old, and I was born in the OC…Newport Beach, CA. I am forever grateful that my parents took me out of SoCal when I was seven and raised me in Seattle, WA. I have nothing against the OC, per se. I just have more grunge-loving, granola-eating, coffee-drinking tendencies than Newport Beach would foster.

I graduated from the University of Washington in 2003 with a double degree in International Relations with a focus on Latin America and Spanish. However, I spent much of my college time studying and working in Ecuador and Bolivia.

I completed one day of law school in 2005. It wasn’t law classes that scared me. It was the “how to manage your student loans” class.  I wanted to go to law school, but I also didn’t want $150,000 in debt. I ran as fast as I could, and I’m glad I did. I spent the next two years being a professional mosaic artist. But that’s a different story.

CGW: How tall are you? (Indulge us. There is a 6 inch height difference between us and we’re height obsessed)

A: At a little over 5’9”, I am actually the short one in my family. My father is 6’8”. My brother is 6’5”, and I have an uncle that’s 7’1”. Sometimes I wish I broke the 6’ mark, so I fake it with heels. Good thing my 5’10” husband likes his tall-blondy wife!

CGW: We’ll count that one as a win on Christie’s side then. Speaking of your husband, we’re dying to know –how did you meet him and how did you know he was the ONE?

A: Ryan and I worked together at the World Affairs Council. When I first met him, I must admit that I wasn’t too impressed. He came across as “boring”, but if anyone knows Ryan will tell you, that is far from the truth. We worked closely together on a large black-tie event that included a lot of long nights and a ton of stress. We became friends and confidants quickly under those conditions.

I can remember the very moment when I fell in love with him. The event was over. The last attendees had gone. I was standing exhausted in the foyer. He walked out of the ballroom, and with his hands in his adorable suit pockets, he strutted confidently…proud of the event…toward me. We had done it! The event was a smashing success. And we did it together. And it was time to party.

From that moment on I knew this was someone I wanted around me all the time. That project set the stage for many other great projects and adventures to come.

CGW: Wow, we kind of love that you debunked the love at first sight concept. It’s like Patti Stenger says, women are fondue pots. You have to add heat SLOWLY or they’ll burn out. And hey, looking at this photo, we are dying to ask you. How do you get your hair to be so long and thick and beautiful and blonde? Seriously, what’s your secret?

A: Have parents with thick, blonde hair genes. Wish I had tips, but it just grows that way!

CGW: Figures! Ok, let’s move on. We want to ask you about some of your favorite things.

Favorite pair of shoes you own?

A: My vintage Goodwill cowboy boots.

CGW: Favorite cocktail?

A:  Old fashioned fall and winter. Portonic winter and spring.

CGW: Favorite wine drinking memory?

A: Sitting cross-legged with Ryan in Sienna’s square…drinking a super Tuscan out of the bottle…munching on floppy slices of pizza…watching Italian teenagers strut their stuff.

CGW: We believe that female friendships basically make the world go round. Who is your best friend?

A: My best girlfriend is the strongest, most amazing woman I know. We bonded in college over sappy travel-related romantic comedies (Only You) and Russian literature (Dostoyevsky). As roommates we stayed up late together as she soldered circuits over and over again for her electrical engineering degree while I drilled verb conjugations for my Spanish degree. She did not run away from law school like me, and she is now a very talented, successful patent and intellectual properties attorney  – kicking ass in an area of law dominated by men. Her career originally took her to Silicon Valley where she met her adorable husband, former Apple computer engineer and current computer game designer.  I am monumentally proud of her.

CGW: So, tell us more about People’s Wine Market and the wine business in general. How did you come up with the idea and how does it work?

A: My first business married my love for wine and my love for Latin America. As a wine importer focusing on Argentinean brands, I wanted a way to get rid of last year’s wines while still maintaining my wine’s reputation. I couldn’t find it…so I decided to start my own and thus, People’s Wine Market was born.

People’s Wine Market is an online outlet for exceptional artisan wines. We taste wineries’ overstock, snag the wines that are actually improving with age rather than turning it to vinegar and sell it online to our customers at discounted pricing – and only $5 shipping per pack.

It is a win-win for everyone. The wineries get rid of their old stuff in a way that saves their reputation, the customer gets deals on the best-of-the-best, and we make a little money.

CGW: We love all of that, and we almost cried when we heard about the $5 shipping. What are your wine shopping tips for the clueless?

A: First, frequent a wine shop (or an online closeout wine website J) with a good reputation. If their wine buyer is good, then you should be happy with anything on their shelf…no matter the price.

I can’t take credit for this second tip. It’s all Ryan’s, and it really does work. Say you’re far away from your trusty wine story. Go to the grocery store or wine shop. Think about how much you want to spend on your bottle. Skim the shelves, then grab the bottle in your price range that has the most bottles taken from the shelf. If it’s on sale, and you have to stand on your tip-toes to snag the last bottle, you know you’re in for a treat. If the locals are snatching it up, it must be worth drinking. We use this method all the time when we travel…and it’s never failed.

[editor's note: Ha! We TOTALLY remember Ryan telling us about this method in grad school]

CGW: How much wine is stored at your house at this very moment?

A: Oh…geez…perhaps 90 bottles. I don’t have a pantry. I have a “wine closet”.

CGW: We think a wine closet is admirable. ADMIRABLE, we say. Hey, when can we come over and how many glasses will you serve us?

A: As much as you want! I have a booze motto: I never push…only pour. If your glass is empty, I’ll put something in it until you say, “STOP!”

CGW: We really, really, really, really like your motto. How do you feel about mixing wine with other things (spritzers, coca-cola, etc)?

A: Thank you for asking this question! I think wine cocktails are in need of a revival. There is a reason the fashionable women in Casablanca ordered champagne cocktails. It’s because they’re delicious! They are low alcohol, so you can drink more of them without getting drunk. They are easy to make, and it’s a great way to use up icky wine. Above I listed one of my favorite drinks as a “portonic”. It’s the national drink of Portugal. Mix one part white port with one part tonic. Serve over ice with a healthy squeeze of lime. It’s light, tasty, and refreshing.

CGW: What is it like to be married to your business partner?

A: It is rewarding and challenging. You can’t go home and complain about your bitchy workmate because…you’re married to him. Your “get work done” self can be much more abrasive than your “snuggling on the couch” self. And it’s hard to switch it on and off without clear boundaries. So we’ve set some rules. No work-talk at the dinner table. No work-talk on our morning walks. Ashley gets a morning all to herself every Friday for some “quiet” time. Etc.

But the rewards, especially with our work, are incredible. For example, instead of going to a wine conference in Venice with a bunch of hobos from work that you don’t like, you get to go with your best friend and partner. Plus there is something fundamentally beautiful about building something together.

CGW: So what makes People’s Wine Market different from some of the other online wine retailers or local shops?

Here are our 6 points.

One, we are tough critics. If it isn’t improving with age, we don’t sell it. If it isn’t of the highest quality, we don’t sell it.

Two, we tell our customers what it tastes like right now. Even if wine is improving with age, it’s changing. After five-six-seven years, old reviews may not accurately describe what it tastes like now. Our reviews do, allowing customers to buy exactly what they like.

Three, we only sell artisan, family-produced, environmentally-friendly wine.

Four, we give people access to new wines. Whether you live in a wine growing region or not, our web-based sales model gives customers access to wines never before available in most communities.

Five, we keep the shipping costs low. Standard shipping is only $5 a pack — always.

Six, we have a unique wine subscription. Similar to a farmer’s produce delivery, we pick the cream of the artisan wine crop, offer it at a screaming bundled discount, and ship it to our customers for free. Customers can choose from monthly or bimonthly deliveries and a mixed or reds-only box.

CGW: We have to say that we think you have an unbeatable business model and we are sincerely impressed. More importantly, we have sampled the wine ourselves and know it to be good!

Follow us later this month when Christie and I sample more of People’s Wine Market wines, sober up, and then blog to tell you all about it!

Yet we all know that long hair can be a burden when the sun is so hot that your delicate tendrils are sticking to your neck. There’s nothing cute about that.

But take heart. We’ve newly discovered a few adorable and super easy up-dos to wear when the weather is punishing but your social calendar calls for more than a scrunchie.

Summer heat meets date night.

1. The Kardashian Pony: Pull out the front section of hair from front of forehead until about 2 inches back. Clip it to the side and pull the rest of your hair into a tight high pony tail. Now, grab the front section and tease it into a small dome (or for those with thinner hair, there’s always the “bump it”). Voila, a glamorous pony tail.

2. Ballet Bun: This is my new go-to night out look on hot days. It’s a 40s inspired look but always reminds me of a ballerina (tutu, anyone?). Make a side part first. Take a small front section of hair on either side of your head, twist and pin back on each side of your head. (Tip: To prevent the bobby pin from sticking out, insert the pin with the closed side down and then flip it over once you have the hair in the pin). Secure the rest of the hair at the back of the head into a pony tail with an elastic band, and wrap the tail back through the hair band to make a loose loop. You can also swap out the twists for french braids if you’re shooting for a bohemian look.

3. Sloppy Pigtails: Pigtails over the age of 10 are a slippery slope. The key to success here is loose and soft. In fact, the messier the better. Avoid a perfectly symmetrical part or a neatly wrapped bun. Keep the pig tails low at the neck (high pig-tails can look cartoonish). You can keep them loose or pull them into a soft bun or loop as in the photograph to the right. If your hair is a bit shorter, I like the idea of teasing the pieces out a little bit to give it more spunk. Although pig tails are an obvious day-time choice, I love the idea of complimenting this style with a sexy and sleek night time look and smokey eyes. The contrast of sophisticated and playful is really fun. And since it drives some men wild, a great option for date night.

With every new activity or sport that I undertake (let’s face it, there aren’t many), I always get a thrill of excitement when I uncover the new fashion possibilities in the associated athletic apparel and accessories.

In about 3-4 more business days, I will become the proud owner of a gorgeous white and gold Fuji Cambridge cruiser bicycle. I envision picnics, bar cruises, river trail rides, and perhaps even a workday commute. Within all those visions, I imagine classic, retro styled, bike accessories. I don’t like shiny sporty messenger bags, plastic crate add-ons, or anything that comes in construction vest orange.

Surprisingly, my search has yielded few results but I did uncover a few bike fashion items that I think any CityGirl would be proud to display.

1. PoCampo. This retailer out of Chicago makes fashionable and highly functional bags like the one photographed above. For starters, its an adorable tote purse. But the stylish clips on the side make for an adjustable belt that allows you to clip it onto a rear bicycle rack. It can also be adjusted to accommodate a rolled yoga mat or clip onto the back of a stroller. On top of that, it’s made of a water resistant fabric that doesn’t look like a camping tent. WIN!

2. Basil. Out of Holland, this outlet makes great pannier bags as well as messenger bags made of adorable shapes and patterns that will satisfy any girl aged 5 to 35. I love the matching blues in the set pictured to the right.

3. Don’t overlook Etsy for some great handmade options, especially when you consider that many artists will work with you to make something customized for size, color, and other features. Seller, Beatrice Holiday out of Denver makes some seriously chic matching sets of handlebar bags and seat covers. How cute is this yellow set below?

So we’re out of excuses! Stay fit, lose weight, save the environment, and LOOK cute. Let’s go for a bike ride!

Nothing says appeasement of inner turmoil and emotional upheaval quite like Chanel.  It’s like a miracle hangover cure.  Slap on some Chanel (perfume, cosmetics, whatever floats your boat) and …. voila, you look/feel good enough to go back out and face the world, at least for a while.

After a bottomless champagne ladies brunch a while back at the Ritz – seriously, where else is a girl to go? – I found myself at the Chanel counter at Nordstrom’s.  Because I owe it to City Girl’s to try the new Coco Shine, right? You will recall that yours truly was a big fan of the Rouge Coco back in the day.  The Coco Shine likes to think of itself as a cross between lipstick and lip gloss.  And, it succeeds.  I abhore lip gloss.  I don’t like the sticky feeling, I hate getting my hair caught in it, I hate how it goops on my glass of champagne.  And so enter Coco Shine – it’s sheer, lightweight, and comes in a flurry of georgus colors that are spot on perfect for spring and summer.  It could make one think of an uber fancy tinted chapstick (or the grown up version of those covergirl lipthings you got when you were 12? Remember those?) but it has more staying power… and anyway, my soul needs appeasing and my wallet stopped caring, and  so after some champers, who gives a damn?

My personal favorites for summer were Evasion and Elise.  I put some of thus stuff on and I *think* I look fabulous – that’s worth $32.  And did I mention that I have entered spurned womanhood? Yes, hello Chanel.

And as with any great vision, it begins with….. the right outfit.

Nautical Spring 2011 by CityGirlsWorld featuring cashmere tops

>, $78

Well, I stared at them many a time thinking: “Do I really need this? I don’t need this! Do I need this?” and basically not doing much except mentally talking to myself while standing oddly in stores and potentially scaring the sales team.

But then, after a fortifying three beignets and a round of chandelier staring, I stumbled upon a bejeweled purse-thingy, and I just went for it.  And I LOVE it.  So handy, so easy. So works even with a giant overloaded bag on a random happy hour table.  BEHOLD!!

And a more legitimate (non-action) picture!

And that leads me to a great date idea: Monday dinner and Chess Night! So, here’s how it goes down: head to Dupont in DC or Rittenhouse in Philly and meet your honey.  Bring a chess set or take on one of the uber-talented street chess players (they will usually charge you to play, winner takes all. Plan on losing $2-$5 a game), have fun with a few rounds of chess, take a walk and then have a glass of wine or dinner with your man.  In Philly, we like Parc for wine and frites.  In DC, we feel like a good burger is key, so head to West-End Bistro at the Ritz for some outside eating, or BGR in Dupont North.  Both are AMAZING. And most importantly, you can use your awesome new purse-bag-holder thingy! Yes!! Genius!!

Pros: You get out in the springtime, you enjoy the flowering trees in the city, and you do something different.

Cons: You lose $5 at chess.  But, you laugh hilariously about it and you up your street trash talking game (critical in street chess).

Purse holder here!

Looking back on my college years, I have to shake my head at my 20 year old self. That pixie cut? Oh dear. The scratch and sniff nail polish? What was I thinking?

Mostly though, I spent a lot of money on unnecessary things while I neglected a lot of really important things!

So if I could send a letter to my 20 year-old self, here are the tips I’d mention:

1. Don’t bother with expensive makeup-removing products. They’re harsh on your skin and a waste of money. Use a facial cream to smear it off. Gentle, easy, and bonus– you’re moisturizing at the same time. Don’t ever go to sleep with make-up on. Do I really need to say that? I think we both know I do.

2.  Don’t try to shape your eyebrows on your own. You’re fooling yourself. Have a professional do it. Then, to save money, you can maintain them by plucking hairs that grow outside the line.

3. Forget expensive shampoos. When your hair is looking limp and lifeless, go buy another (inexpensive) shampoo. Your hair will spring into life. Keep 3-4 different shampoos on hand and alternate.

4. You have a short forehead and that means you can’t have bangs. Your hair stylist tried to tell you that. Now I’m telling you. There are times when it makes sense to listen.

5. Wear a daily facial moisturizer with SPF 15. It’s the single best way to avoid wrinkles later on. Wear it EVERY day not just when you feel like it. Your 30-something future self will thank you.

6. Youth is one of the most beautiful things about your face right now. So you don’t need much makeup. Use a concealer to cover up blemishes but avoid the temptation to slap foundation all over your face. It looks silly.

7. If you’re in a rush, don’t skip out on makeup. Just boil it down to the following 3 steps. Moisturize. Cover blemishes. Apply generous amounts of mascara. This is all you really need to look bright and beautiful every day. You will look like one of those radiant people with flawless skin.

8. Eye shadow requires blending. It is almost never ok to apply one color from lash to brow.  Reserve dark eye shadows for evening only. Remember that a little goes a long way.

9. In reference to number 8, purchase yourself a set of makeup brushes. Minimally you need two. One for eyeshadow and one for blush. If you can afford four, get a tiny one for eyeliner and a large one for pressed powder.

10. Your best make-up item for a night out in “da club” is super shiny lip gloss. That and mascara are powerful weapons.

10. Applying eyeliner effectively is an advanced skill –one you do not yet possess. Sharpen a soft eye pencil and get a mirror. Better yet, YouTube it. Be grateful that YouTube exists.

11. Stay away from glitter. Don’t ask questions. Just stay away.

12. Don’t ever move into an apartment without a bathtub. Your skin (sanity) is dependent upon hot baths.

P.S. Enclosed is a list of names and years. Avoid these men at all costs (no matter what they say to convince you).

Ironing

Jess: Yeah…… not so much. In fact, I find myself admiring pretty collared shirts in shops and then stopping short when I remember that they need ironing. 9.9 mornings out of 10 I will not choose something from my closet that needs to be ironed. Because that’s 5 minutes I could be spending on hair (or more coffee). Right?

Christie: I am making a single handed attempt to bring back “wrinkled clothing” as the new chic.  Granted, in moments of crisis (job interviews) I would attempt to iron on my floor…because let’s be real, me and ironing boards? Not friends.  I did it this way for ages until an ex took pity on me and bought me a steamer.  Because it only takes 45 seconds to use, I do tend to “iron” slightly more often…but honestly, sometimes when I wear a cardigan — it’s to hide my wrinkled shirt underneath!!

Bugs, rodents and icky things

Jess: Apologies to my feminist foremothers, but I file this chore under “Boyfriend, Dad, or (If All Else Fails) Pay Someone to Do It.” Once, after seeing a mouse in my kitchen, I locked myself in my bedroom for an entire weekend (also a not so brilliant diet plan)

Christie: Agreed!!! In college we always lived near boys and had a “bug cup.”  When we saw a bug, our M.O. was to scream loudly, run downstairs, and hand the cup to whatever man was home.  He got to be the hero, we made him cookies, and everyone slept better .

Vacuuming

Jess: I’m not gonna say that we spend a TON of time together but I am a fan of the vacuum because I have a purse-size dog that sheds about one purse a day on my carpet and couch. And one zip of the vacuum makes the house look magically clean. Plus, you’d be amazed at how many cheese and chocolate crumbs it can pick up.

Christie: I have a dyson! It changed my life and now I vacuum aggressively. Whoop!

Dishes

Jess: Bane OF MY Existence. Seriously. Dishwashers should be a mandatory install in all homes. Not that I’d be good at loading and unloading it but at least it’d be something. Right now, I operate on a binge and purge cycle. I also use paper products and then chastise myself extensively for ruining the environment.

Christie: I have a dishwasher, and it is my friend. However, I hate unloading it. Tip: Only use one pot when cooking and eat directly from it .

Cooking

Jess: Whee! I love to cook. The end.

Christie: I like things that I can cook in one pot as I *cough* mentioned above. Soup anyone? Also, Jess has been known to feed me.

Grocery Shopping

Jess: I try to keep the 3 major food groups (pyramid, whatever) stocked at all times — cheese, booze, and chocolate.  And I don’t mean the cheap shit either (see Whole Foods and DiBruno Brothers for reference). It’s a cold day in hell if my house is lacking in any of those. In fact, thinking about it, I’d like to head home right now. I have a blue cheese dolce, espresso chocolate truffles, and pear brandy waiting. Dinner. Of. Champions!

Christie: People have called my fridge that of a 50 year old Bachelor Man. So…ummm…yeah.  Not brilliant.  However, I ALWAYS have chocolate. And peanut butter.  Tip: put your hands together! Yummmm.

Taking out the trash

Jess: The first time I lived alone, I remember walking by the burgeoning trash can and thinking, “Jesus, someone is really behind on their chores” and then it hit me like a terrifying bolt of lightning. There was no one else to do the trash but me. Its been a long and weary toil ever since.

Christie: Taking out the trash makes me feel productive. Look ma–I did something! Also, having a gentleman caller has paid off. He’s been known to take out the trash and I love that about him

(photo credit)