The dirty secret of relationships is that they are WORK.  And after communication, romance seems to be the thing that requires the most conscious effort in our opinion. Soooo…that is the first thing. Romance takes work on BOTH sides.  However, it doesn’t have to be a LOT of work.  In fact, with a few ideas/mechanisms in place, romance can happen fairly easily.

For Him:

1. Read our article on seduction and follow it!

2. Women want to feel noticed, beautiful, and appreciated. We want to feel this way through gifts, words, touches, or looks — and THEN we will get turned on. We’ve said it before and we will say it again: You must start the fire to feel the heat.  Follow our formula and you will get laid.  So — ideas that might work (you know her best, so use your judgment):

a. Bring home a single rose (gift), tell her you were thinking about her (words) and you wanted to give her something beautiful, and give her a long sexy kiss.  Not a peck, a deep and loving kiss.  And then tell her she is beautiful while looking into her eyes (look).  Then relax and walk away (no pressure this way) — you have laid the foundation for later that night!

b. Send her a flirty text (words) during the day.  The same type of text that you might send early in the relationship. Examples: “Thinking of how sexy/beautiful/gorgeous you looked this morning.”  “Can’t wait to kiss you tonight.” “Thinking about taking off what you are wearing right now” etc etc. You get the idea!

c. Come home and cook a surprise nice dinner (gift!), as you pour her a glass of wine give her a deep kiss (touch!) and maybe run your hands suggestively down her back (touch). Tell her you’ve been thinking about her all day (words) and then keep up light touches while you serve her dinner. This will get her excited, fired up, and ready to seduce you.  See?

d. When you walk into the room to meet her, or come home after work and she is already home, grab her into a deep hug (touch), dip her if you are adventurous, and kiss her (lips, face, neck, gentleman’s choice).  Then tell her you have missed her (words) and set her down.  Meaningful looks and touches for the rest of the evening should seal the deal!

For Her:

1. Guys need loving too – but they are slightly more visual/direct than we are.  Putting on lipstick, heels, or whatever you know he likes is always a good start (visual).

2. Send him a flirty text, but use imagery.  “Can’t wait to see you tonight — I’ll give you three guesses as to what I’m wearing.” “Just wanted to let you know that I’m wearing my red heels tonight…” “I want you. Now.”

3. Use your feminine wiles.  Come up behind him and kiss his neck, and then run your hands down his back while saying something suggestive (fill in the blank/see above suggestions). Or run your hands down his front .  Either way, he’ll feel the love (direct touch).

4. Be direct. Say exactly what you want from him, what you want to do to him, or what you want to do together. Do this in email, text, or out loud (whisper in a crowded restaurant before the bill comes, sneak up on him at the bar, or even at home etc).

Together:

1. Set a date night regularly (every week?) and stick to it. On date night focus on each other. Go out and have sexy conversation. Dress up if that is your thing.  Flirt, kiss, and build up some anticipation for what will happen later. But take this time for your relationship and focus on romance.

2. Be kind to each other. Little gifts like doing her laundry, cooking him dinner, sending a thoughtful small present (flowers? Chocolate? Peanut butter?) and notes reminding how much you love each other will help keep the romance alive when you are both in the mood. Heck, it will help KEEP you in the mood.

3. Respect each other, but especially with your words.  Jokes, play and other stuff is all fun.  But make sure that you temper your words – nothing turns a woman off more than being told she’s “put on some tire rubber” “looks a little plump” or just “looks fine.”  Alternatively, rubbing a man’s belly and asking to talk to Buddha is a great way to discourage sex from his end.

4. Finally, communicate! If he doesn’t know what you like (or what you don’t!) then how can he meet your expectations? Same for her — if he doesn’t seduce you/touch you/cuddle with you enough to light the fire, then tell him, but do so with curiousity and respect.  Instead of “Why do you always do this wrong?!!” try “I notice you like it this way, and I’m curious as to why — can you tell me?”

Couples – weigh in! What works for you?

Has anyone else ever had this problem? You know, where you quote old TV shows in random situations — like at work during a meeting, or on your couch as you write a blog about date ideas?

So, anyway. Summer dates. Always important.  FREE summer dates? Even more important. So here is what we are loving this week:

DC:

Picture it: A soft breeze…a beautiful sunset….historic monument…a romantic kiss and….several groups of tourists.  Have you ever taken a picnic or a bottle of wine and camped out in front of…the Capitol? Well, NOW is the time.  It’s beautiful, historic, really well-tended, and did we mention free? Also, we understand that there is a water feature and some politics.

So, because of the location we really feel the idea of driving or walking in with a picnic hamper already prepared — the available food options are not always awesome.  What we are feeling for summer involves fresh crisp baguette, an awesome cheese, some sausage and mustard, grapes, and maybe some tiny cookies or a couple of cupcakes.

And then once the picnic is consumed just sit, watch the sunset and the tourists, and enjoy one of the most beautiful places in the city with your honey!

Philly:

Well, we consider the Philly equivalent of the Capitol Building the Rocky Statue….obviously! So, might we recommend the same? For the adventurous, start at the Love plaza, and walk all way down to Art Museum and take in the view.  Shake Rocky’s hand, find an amazing spot under one of the trees, and enjoy watching the city go by.

For the picnic, we are feeling pretzels (of course) and perhaps some sort of cheese fry? Or alternatively, some lovely deli meats, cheeses, and fresh fruit.  And yes, the Rocky statue is cheesy, but it’s also fun.  So get out there and enjoy!

Pros: It’s free, fun and beautiful!

Cons: Every date should involve many many tourists.

(photo credit)

Oohhhhhkayyyyyyyy.

Girl walks up to door. Door opens. Girl’s mouth drops open. What IS this magical place??? How are we now in a cross between a medieval catholic church and Mariah Cary’s bedroom? Is this what the pope’s brothel would look like? (If he had a brothel–you know, instead of being celibate).

Chandeliers everywhere. Beautiful gold leaf covering everything. The feeling that you have walked into something, and somewhere very very special.

Oh yes.

Sax has it all. A fun french menu of small plates that are meant to be enjoyed with no utensils.  Thirteen (!!!) chandeliers. An infinity cabaret with dancers popping up in a glassed in 2nd story enclosure all night. At times odd, though always interesting we saw a mime at one point, and then burlesque-style number at another.  It aims for a sensual yet fun experience, and we have to say that we were golf-clapping in excitement.

It feels small and big at the same time, and is a perfect foil for a date night.  The decor and food will give you something to talk about, and the show will keep you entertained as you dine. Make sure not to miss the paintings on the walls….they are very VERY Washington, and very very suggestive.   For all these reasons we are very very intrigued and impressed with the entire experience.  Our rating was several champagne glasses full of bubbly. Is that a rating? Yes we say. With the largest sparkling wine list in DC, we are sold!

So — go there on a date. Go there with a bachelorette party or on a special (girls night?) out.  It’s definitely a unique new hotspot in DC, and we predict will be incredibly hot!

Things to know:

1. There is a minimum per person charge: $75 per person for a table, and $50 if you are at the bar.

2. There is a VIP section in the back of the second floor–it is nice, but we actually prefer the rest of the seating–it feels like a better part of the experience.

3. The bathroom is fab! So nice, and there was hairspray and body spray. We LOVE that.

4. There is valet parking. Go, and wear the big-girl heels!

Info: www.sawxdc.com

Well, I stared at them many a time thinking: “Do I really need this? I don’t need this! Do I need this?” and basically not doing much except mentally talking to myself while standing oddly in stores and potentially scaring the sales team.

But then, after a fortifying three beignets and a round of chandelier staring, I stumbled upon a bejeweled purse-thingy, and I just went for it.  And I LOVE it.  So handy, so easy. So works even with a giant overloaded bag on a random happy hour table.  BEHOLD!!

And a more legitimate (non-action) picture!

And that leads me to a great date idea: Monday dinner and Chess Night! So, here’s how it goes down: head to Dupont in DC or Rittenhouse in Philly and meet your honey.  Bring a chess set or take on one of the uber-talented street chess players (they will usually charge you to play, winner takes all. Plan on losing $2-$5 a game), have fun with a few rounds of chess, take a walk and then have a glass of wine or dinner with your man.  In Philly, we like Parc for wine and frites.  In DC, we feel like a good burger is key, so head to West-End Bistro at the Ritz for some outside eating, or BGR in Dupont North.  Both are AMAZING. And most importantly, you can use your awesome new purse-bag-holder thingy! Yes!! Genius!!

Pros: You get out in the springtime, you enjoy the flowering trees in the city, and you do something different.

Cons: You lose $5 at chess.  But, you laugh hilariously about it and you up your street trash talking game (critical in street chess).

Purse holder here!

Those of you who read this blog may remember my story of an ex-boyfriend who celebrated V-day by forgetting about it, even though I had sent him a cute gift reminder in the morning (to hopefully inspire him to get a card, or plan a dinner, or…you know… say “happy valentine’s day!” at some point during the day).

Granted, he was foreign but COME ON.

Anyway, over the years I have lowered my expectations about V-day, just expecting it to be another day where the chocolate I receive is from myself.  And therefore guaranteed to be good .

But then, then I met my Gentleman Caller.

And he took me to Richmond.

Sidebar: Richmond never comes to mind when I think of places to go.  It’s close enough (an hour and 20 minutes) to feel like it’s readily accessible, but far enough that I often think: “if I’m going to get off my couch, why not go to Philly/New York/Monaco instead?” and I end up going north/to Europe.  So basically, Richmond for me is like the Smithsonian: so close I don’t bother to see it, and too far from my couch for me to make a special “learning” expedition.

Anyway, my Gentleman Caller’s idea Valentine’s Day involved sweeping me away to Richmond, to the NICEST bed and breakfast I’ve ever stayed at (www.mauryplace.com — tip: pathfinder suite), with in-room massages, and a swanky dinner at a fun location.

Not to mention a beautiful card.

And yes, I am in fact gushing slightly.

Which, if anyone knows me they would understand that I am not a gusher.

But I have a point!  I had an amazing Valentine’s day weekend, and it put a smile on my face.  My GC reminded me that putting thought and planning and romance into V-day is important.  It shows the one you love that you do care.  And sometimes we all need a reminder…right? Or it’s too easy to get caught..sitting on the couch…watching ANTM….which we all know has taken a turn for the worse recently. SMIZE!

So that was Lesson number 1.

But then on Valentine’s day I got to my work and saw a card on my desk.  And I opened it–it was a sweet note from a beautiful friend.  The silly card and fun note totally made my day.  And so I had another eureka moment (drumroll and small triangle please):  What if instead of just focusing on our significant other, we focus on all our favorite people?  I feel like this is one of those “teach a man to fish” moments wherein if you hug one extra person every day then there is drinking water for the children.  You know what I mean–I know we appreciate our friends/family/spouses etc, but it’s amazing how a small effort can make someone feel so great.

Lesson number 2: People are what matters, and everyone in your life deserves to feel special.

Which brings me to Lesson number 3: Richmond is worth the visit.  Really. Cocktails are cheap!

And finally, Lesson number 4: Oh Tyra Banks, “Smizing” is a made up word.  But I have learned that if you repeat something enough, people will lose the will to live and start using it.

So, I’d like to leave my GC with this thought: I AM a delicate flower of the south. TAKE THAT.

(photo credit)

With all this snow dumping on us lately, my thoughts are occupied with travel delays, staying in bed, spending my entire paycheck on boots, coats & cashmere sweaters, AND romantic date ideas.  Ok so maybe the date thoughts are occasional, but they are on my mind.

Being from Northeastern Ohio, I’m used to feet, yes FEET (plural), of snow-I understand the monotony of staying in and watching movies or bumming around the local coffee shop, so I’ve compiled a list of fun snow date ideas.  When everything is blanketed in snow, embrace it and have a fun time with your snow bear or bunny! And when you’re freezing your tails off after a fun afternoon outside, you have a great excuse to cozy up together in front of a crackling fire…

1. Build a snowman! I know its a little cliché but it can be fun, especially with a handsome man.  I love doing kid stuff with my guy, it’s fun and we always end up laughing, giggling, rolling around in the snow…and afterward you can reward yourselves with a hot apple cider while cuddling on the couch. Rum is optional.

2.  A Chair with a View. This is possibly my all-time fave.  Take a few chairs out to a spot with a nice view (or pull up the recliners to the window) and enjoy getting to know each other while you drink hot cocoa and snack on cookies.  This doesn’t require really getting out in the wintery mix and getting all bundled up to brace the frigidness of old man winter which is why it can be one of the nicest winter date ideas.

3. Sledding.  Remember grabbing a sled or disc and taking off downhill with your best friends? Why not grab a date and do the same? I’ve gone sledding before with a date and it is one of my favorite wintery date ideas-it’s a great way to get out of the house when you’ve got the winter blues and can be even better when you strip off your wet clothes at the end of the day! Ahem.

4. Take a sleigh ride! I’m still investigating if these can be done nearby…take a horse-drawn sleigh ride around town while you cuddle under a blanket and sip spiked  hot cocoa.

5.  Skiing or Snowboarding. I don’t think these need any explaining –get out there and hit the slopes! And if you aren’t the most avid skier or snowboarder, enjoy an Irish Coffee with your boo while you watch others hit the half-pipe.

6. Have a photo-shoot! Snowy weather provides great backdrops for photos-trust me I have a ton a few pictures that will go to show that the snow gives you a healthy glow & provides awesome scenery. Grab your camera and have fun capturing the season with your snow bunny.

Whichever you pick, by now you’ve probably figured out that the best part is to add Bailey’s or peppermint schnapps to… well, anything and cuddle by the fire with your sweetie.  Hope you keep things hot this cold winter with your favorite snowman!

[Photo Credit: Image Source via www.weheartit.com]

And you should too! During the dark, cold, and snowy weeks that lie ahead, there is nothing more fun than a night-in with your honey for some white wine, cheese fondue, and chocolate dessert. For the evening’s entertainment, we recommend board games: dominoes, cards, truth or dare, –you decide.

Or a movie works well too. In fact, another great way of getting through the winter is committing to a movie or TV series to watch/rewatch. The Godfather, Star Wars, the 80s Brat Pack collection, or Harry Potter are all great movie ideas. For TV, the Sopranos, True Blood, Boardwalk Empire,  or Lost would all offer months of entertainment.

The Fondue Pot

To make your fondue, of course you will need a pot (an essential in every household!) and it shouldn’t be metal. Metal pots are for oil fondues (cooking meats) while cast iron pots are for cheese because they hold the heat longer. Got that? The cast iron pots can get mucho expensive but IKEA makes one that is perfectly serviceable for only $60. It’s worth it.

The Cheese

Now you need some cheese. If you want to start from scratch, you can head over to Whole Foods (or Di Bruno Brothers if you’re in Philly) and the helpful cheese mongers can steer you in the right direction. They may even have packets of the cheese blend, pre-shredded for you. You’re looking for gruyere and ideally, vacherin as well. If you can’t find the vacherin, your fondue can be 100% gruyere. There are also pre-made and pre-melted fondue packs for sale at places like Whole Foods and Trader Joes. Not as good as making your own, but actually not bad at all.

The Recipe

There isn’t much to making fondue but its critical to stay true to the Swiss formula. For step by step instructions, here is a recipe that Christie and I endorse (though we do not use lemon juice). Crusty french bread is traditional for dipping but don’t be afraid to try apple slices, potatoes, and other accoutrements like pickled onions and gherkins. If you insist on eating something healthy, a side salad would be a acceptable.

The Etiquette

It’s time to start dipping!

* Tradition dictates that wine is the only beverage served at the table and water is not offered. According to legend/rumor, cold water will cause the liquid cheese to congeal into a hard-to-digest lump in your stomach. Also, this tradition gives everyone a good excuse to drink more wine (which again, we endorse).

* Your fondue fork is not your eating fork! In polite company, you should always place your cheese covered prize onto your plate and use your dinner fork to transfer it to your mouth (note: Christie and I are not always “polite company”)

* Drop and Kiss: If you lose your dipping morsel in the cheese pool, your punishment is to kiss the person next to you. Some say left, some say right, some say across the table. Who knows?  (if you’re single and out with a group of other attractive single folks, we recommend that you set the ground rules to your advantage).  How romantique!

If You Truly Cannot Cook

If you can’t be bothered with cooking, The Melting Pot is a national fondue chain that does an okaaaaaaay job. If you are having a ferocious fondue craving, it will do in a pinch.

Final word

We hate to think it even needs to be said but once in awhile Christie and I run into fondue virgins who ask us this question: “So what else will we be having besides fondue? Since obviously fondue is not a meal.” To which we retort, “Wrong you are, my friend! So wrong. Cheese IS a meal.” In fact, Christie and traditionally skip lunch on fondue days so that we have more room in our bellies for cheese.

Join us, won’t you?

Oh yes, it’s cold out now. Winter has arrived in our nation’s capitol! The metro area has had a taste of some lake-effect snow in recent days and there’s probably more to come. There’s no better time than now to find a date and enjoy the winter wonderland with someone mitten in mitten. Of course, you don’t want to spend all your time indoors because the capitol is so beautiful this time of year, but you don’t want to freeze yourself, so mix up your date night plans to get out of the cold once you’ve become too chilly. Dress warm and classy for this wonderful night out on the town.

First visit The National Portrait Gallery, which is currently showing the renowned and now  infamous exhibit “Hide/Seek: Difference and Desire in American Portraiture,” which recently made headlines due to the controversy over one of its video installations. Of course, you’re not simply going because of the hype, but instead to see how artists have portrayed love, especially marginalized love, throughout the years. The exhibit is, according to the website, “the first major museum exhibition to focus on sexual difference in the making of modern American portraiture.” Due to its controversial content concerning sexuality, it’s certainly not for the faint of heart, so make sure you’re comfortable with your date for this particular night. The exhibit is open through 7pm daily, it runs until February, and it is free!

Once you’ve had your fill of art, it’s time to fill your stomach. Take a cab to Central Michel Richard at 1001 Pennsylvania Avenue. You’ll want to make sure you have a reservation as this place is usually packed for dinners on the weekend. Share a bottle of wine with your date, order the cheese puffs for an appetizer, and try the hamburger, lamb shank, or tuna burger. As tempted as you are, don’t have dessert. You’ll save that for later. Expect this meal to be in the upper range of your usual dinner expenses, but don’t feel too badly, as you saved money with free admittance to the museum.

After dinner, you and your date can cross the street to the National Mall and find the ice rink at the National Sculpture Garden. Pay $7 for a two hour skating session. Don’t worry if you can’t stay out more than thirty minutes. Don’t worry if you can’t skate. It’s fun just to watch everyone around you too. Plus, ice skating is really simply an excuse to huddle next to your man and talk intimately as you shuffle around the edge of the rink. That’s the beauty of cold weather; it encourages physical intimacy. Take advantage of it! Skates are $3 and a locker to store your shoes is 50 cents.

When you can no longer stand the cold, hire a cab to take you away to the warmth of ACKC, Washington D.C.’s famous chocolate and dessert bar. There you’ll have 14 different styles of hot chocolate drinks to choose from as you warm up at the end of the date. You’re looking at around $5 per each hot chocolate, but you’ll also want to sample one of their delicious desserts, such as the Molten Lava Cake. Get two forks!

This guest post is contributed by Vanessa Jones, who writes on the topics of dating sites.  She welcomes your comments at her email Id: vanessa.jones42@gmail.com.

[Editor's note: We realize that the photo has nothing to do with winter dates...but it is the first week of January and we needed cute. We NEEDED cute!]

(photo credit)

There are certain things that you can only do in certain cities.  Special things, related ONLY to those cities.  Having high tea and seeing the key ceremony at the Tower of London, for example, only really works in London.

Or strolling arm and arm down around the Grand Place while eating amazing belgian chocolate involves being being in Brussels.

And in DC, going to the theater where Lincoln got shot, and watching one of the most wonderful christmas plays of all time can only happen here. In the capital of the free world! Or, the capital built on reclaimed swampland…whatever floats your boat .

So, we have to take a moment and say that if you are looking for an amazing christmas date idea, you need to RUN to ticketmaster and get tickets to A Christmas Carol.  Expertly staged at Ford’s theater, it is beautiful, beguiling, and full of holiday cheer.  Here is how we think the night should go down:

1. Have a pre-theatre drink/dinner at a nearby restaurant of your choice

2. Attend the amazing play

3. Soak in the history/holiday spirit

4. Go to the Hay-Adams, the Willard, the Mayflower or the St. Regis for a post-theater hot toddy/glass of wine.

5. Drive past the Capitol Christmas tree on your way home.  (Way better than the National Christmas Tree)

6. Kiss romantically!

Voila!

(photo credit)

Couple walks together, arms romantically linked under the starry night sky. They pause, kiss, and then take in the polar bear.

Yes! We DID say polar bear. That’s right, our date idea this week involves the zoo.  We think that Jingle and Mingle nights, happening tonight and again on the 18th, sound super fun and different.  They run from 6-8:30 pm, and are the perfect reason to cuddle up together outside before wandering off for a restorative cocktail inside.  Are we genius? We kind of feel like we are.

The cost is $15-$25 per person, depending on your zoo membership, and the details sound very fun:

• Access to an exclusive “Sweets and Treats” area, where you will enjoy holiday cookies, rugelach, snack-size holiday cupcakes, chocolate-covered pretzels, seasonal fresh fruit, and gourmet hot chocolate
• A coupon for one drink at the Mane Restaurant or Visitor Center Cafe
• A photo opportunity at a ZooLights display
• An exclusive animal experience
• Complimentary ride on the FedEx Panda Express
• A discount at Zoo gift shops
• An exclusive giveaway

Let us know if you go, and if the polar bears are the new mistletoe.  We’d like to think that they are .

Jingle and Mingle details HERE.