Christie spends a lot of time on her couch...it's gotten to be kind of a symbiotic relationship. So much so in fact, that Jess insisted she title her column after said couch obsession. Writing with both humor and sass (sometimes at the same time!) Christie is here to provide hilarious insights and stories (admittedly, often involving the Real Housewives. She apologizes in advance!)

Couch of Christie: Most Important Piece of the Royal Wedding

Posted by Christie - 27/04/11 at 08:04 am

So, apparently there is a giant wedding looming.  A wedding of epic proportions. So huge, in fact, that my entire living room will be tuning in to watch…

Yes, you guessed it: My couch is finally pledging its troth to my ottoman, after five long years of dating.  It was a fraught relationship, ranging from companionable “we are all sitting here together holding people up” to stern looks and throw pillows scattered around my living room.  Was the ottoman secretly dating the wicker chair? Did the couch accidentally inch too close to the throw rug? So MUCH drama.  But now…now is the time to put on the tiara, fluff up some throw pillows and…

Wait, what was that? Prince William is also getting married? In England you say?

Hmmm.

I *think* I heard something about that.  And perhaps on Sunday night, during a bout of complete apathy, I did manage to watch all of Princess Diana’s wedding on TLC.  Yes, I was too lazy to reach across the ottoman for the remote (but the couch still loves you!) and therefore saw everything from the bad almost 70’s hair to the crazy accents.  But my attention, well…my attention was captivated by her tiara.

And not because I want to be a princess (though, I do believe that at some point almost every girl is brainwashed by Disney into wanting to be a princess), but because I love things that SPARKLE.  Yes, I am a magpie.  A magpie that is easily distracted by the shiny.  Body glitter, broken glass, crown jewels…all fun. All good! All SPARKLY. Hello shiny stuff!

So my question lovely readers, is not what Kate Winslet/Middleton’s dress is going to look like or if she and Wills are really in love…but rather–what TIARA WILL SHE WEAR???? Followed by the second addendum B-1: Will she get to grab some of the crown jewels from the Tower of London?  And thirded thusly with the thought: How does that work? Does one go oneself or does one send in a Beefeater?  And, finally — how COOL is it to be able to say: “I think I’d like Victoria’s crown this time please, and I’ll just leave the scepter behind….I feel it clashes to much with my lace bustle and charming smile.”

Obviously there are other raging questions to be answered, like: Which hats were crimes against nature?  And, did the queen wear 2 or 3 strands of pearls? But I think of all the mystery/random hoopla surrounding the royal wedding, the idea of of which sparkly frosting Kate will choose to ice her head suit is the one we need to most focus on now…no?

(photo credit)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 27th, 2011 at 8:42 AM and is filed under Couch of Christie. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.