“Thou Shall Not Cheat.”
Posted by Leigh, "Gal About Philly" - 09/09/10 at 11:09 am“Is cheating all about karma?”
[Editor's Forward]
Recently in the hallowed halls* of CityGirlsWorld , we’ve been reviewing case studies** of men who cheat .
* hallowed halls = a few bar stools and some reduced price drinks
** case studies = celebrity news
What’s really got our long locks in a tangle lately, is Kat Von D’s seeming oblivion about Jesse James and his track record. It’s one thing to take a chance on him despite his atrocious (and very recent) track record. It’s another to fully believe that you are any different from his exes. To believe that his cheating was specific to his previous relationships rather than a personal flaw of his own. To fall into the trap of believing that he won’t cheat if he’s REALLY in love. And how do we know she believes all of those things? Because she’s goes beyond thinking it to actually saying it, repeatedly, to the media.
And so we shook our heads knowingly at our martini glasses until Leigh posited another theory. Could cheating be some sort of punishment for past relationship crimes?…….
Okay, so it’s really “Thou shall not commit adultery.” I know that but I still don’t qualify myself as an adult so I’m going to go with what I said first.
“Thou shall not cheat.”
Unfortunately in the case of Tiger Woods and Jesse James, some do cheat – and they do it A LOT.
Cheating usually signifies that the relationship, much like the cheating party, is not so healthy. We all know that nothing good comes out of cheating. We learned that when we were 5. Remember what they told us in grade school? If you cheat, you will get caught and you will fail. In this case, you’ll get an “F” in Relationships.
I admit I’ve done it. I was in high school and chalked it up to being young and carefree. If I could take it back I definitely would. When I did it, I put zero thought into the consequences of my actions and neglected to consider my then-boyfriend’s feelings. He of course found out immediately, our relationship ended within seconds, and it took years for him to forgive me (and for me to forgive myself).
I’ve also been cheated on. That being more recent in my life, I can recall with fresh detail that I’ve never felt more humiliated. It broke my trust completely with my now ex-boyfriend and for a time it turned me into a paranoid angry bitter girl.
Now that the bitterness has faded and I’ve moved on, I can’t help but wonder sometimes if it was karma. Was it payback for what I had done in high school? Did my selfish action –hurting someone I cared about– come back to haunt me? Most memorably, it sucked. It hurt like hell. And dramatics aside, if it wasn’t payback it sure did teach me a lesson about compassion
If you’re in relationship and are even thinking about kissing someone else, (DON’T DO IT!), be prepared to deal with the consequences. Because that tempting hook-up? It probably won’t be all gummi bears and unicorns for you anyway (don’t mind my Kelli Bensimon reference). Whether now or later, you will get caught or it will chew up your insides until the truth is out.
Use the temptation to evaluate if you should be in the relationship in the first place. Maybe you should be, maybe you shouldn’t be– only you know that. Just don’t let your cheating hook-up be the thing that decides for you….
