We are everygirl. And we are here to be single FOR you. Follow us on our (sometimes fabulous, sometimes not so much) adventures as we navigate the crazy dating scene while trying not to scratch our stilettos…or change out of our sweatpants.

SingleGirl: Bad Country Music

Dark day. Dark, dark day.

Per the advice of my male BFF and the rational side (ok fraction of a side) of my brain, I held back my need to have the exclusivity conversation with JockBoy until well, it just had to be done.

It’s been over a month, and 6 dates. And I needed some assurance that there was a soft landing place for my heart before I dropped it down into that black hole we call love (oh god help me, I’m talking in country music lyrics now).

Anyway, we’d had a nice dinner and were just lounging at his place when I felt the need to say it boiling up inside me to the point where I couldn’t think of anything else. When the words finally erupted from my lips, well, let’s just say my delivery wouldn’t win me any oscars.

Me: So, um, hey.

Him: What’s up?

Me: So, there’s something I’ve actually been wanting to mention.

Him: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-kay.

Me: Well, now that things between us are a bit more serious, well, I just wanted to kinda establish that we’re not seeing other people and well, I was sorta hoping that maybe you’d bring it up first but you didn’t so I guess here I am doing that and man, yeah, I feel all nervous about it but I mean I’m sure its just obvious but I wanted to, you know, just kinda mention it to be sure and well, um….

[I'd been waiting all that time for him to interject or make that smiling understanding expression to let me off that very painful hook. Instead, I got bug eyes. Bug eyes can't be good.]

Him: ohhhhhhhhhh………. Um. I guess…. I guess I just didn’t think we were at that stage…

[Temporarily, I lose the power of speech and movement]

Him: I mean, I guess you’re right. But well, I mean, do you see us as boyfriend-girlfriend already?

Me: Umm, well first of all, I’m not here to convince you. But if you’re asking me, my answer is no. We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend yet. But I think that there is something here that I want to explore more. I think there is potential here and that being exclusive is part of the process to getting there.

Him: Well that’s a good point.

Me: Sure, but look. If you’re not feeling the same way, that’s FINE. In fact, that’s exactly why I wanted to have this conversation –to see if we’re on the same page. And if you’re not sure, than I’d rather you move on.

Him: No, no. I think. I think we’re more on the same page than you originally thought.

From there we had a conversation about past relationships in which he confessed that he is usually the guy that falls in love too quickly and gets hurt. I confessed that I am usually the girl that can’t fall in love no matter how much she wants it. He laughed about us being in opposite positions.

I didn’t laugh.

Truth be told, the frozen heart days are starting to look pretty good right about now…

In any case, I made it out of there in one piece and didn’t cry until I got home. On the face of things, “everything’s fine” but I can’t help but think that the conversation went VERY BADLY. And he didn’t react the way someone reacts when they really LIKE you. Right?

So where does that leave me? Cut things off because he didn’t react well enough? Wait and see some more? Pull back and see what he does?

Yes, I think I must do the latter. Pull back a bit and see how HE feels after the momentous talk. Make no moves or communication until I see what he does.

Damn. I forgot how agonizing it is to want something.

[Photo Credit: image by ShadowWalkerPhotography under a CC License]

This entry was posted on Monday, August 23rd, 2010 at 8:00 AM and is filed under SingleGirl Chronicles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.