SingleGirl: Shrug-free rollercoaster
Posted by SingleGirl - 12/07/10 at 08:07 am
(courtesy of bredgur on flickr)
So after all the failures in my recent Match.com dates, I decided to switch things up and discard my usual wishlist (older, advanced degree, world traveled, knowledgeable about wine, etc). Instead I set my criteria at “has a bachelors degree and is really cute.”
Enter Jockboy. Two years younger than me (normal for many people but still makes me feel like a baby snatcher somehow). The idea of jockboy was mostly a snooze to me as his profile was hardly filled out and he pretty much thwarted any attempt at email communication and moved things right to the phone. (Why is that? People love to talk before meeting but I hate it. Nothing weirds me out more than a headless voice of a person I’ve never met). Our call was mostly dry except for one tiny little jab (read flirtation) he made towards the end of the call that made think, hmmmmmmmm…..
Oh and also, his photos were SO CUTE.
So fast forward, and we meet in person. And here begins the rollercoaster.
First impression– he doesn’t look like his photos. Second impression— he is actually really cute, just not like the photos (a different but equally good type of cute). And then we open our mouthes. Our icebreaking conversation? Mortgages and home ownership. Yup. Inside I am dying. It is minute 4 and the thought of sustaining the conversation for even an hour is horrific.
Suddenly, he suggests we change venues since the bar/resto we were at was very very quiet. And then just as suddenly, once we’re outside walking in the sunshine, the conversation perks up and morphs into this wonderful banter. Phew! So by the time we finish our chicken sandwiches, I am feeling something very strange that I can barely identify.
Wait…. it’ll come to me. It’s like ….nervous. No, that’s not it. Dizzy? No…. Overcaffienated? …….No! It’s a crush! The check hasn’t even arrived and I have a crush! Wheeee!
Holy shit. What if he finds ME repulsive? This would be my luck. After 2 years of shrugging in indecision about wonderful and generous men who offered me everything………. I’m not shrugging. Oh………Shit.
At some point during the meal, he mentions that he could give me a ride home so that I don’t have to do the public transport battle.
He likes me!
Though he did kinda say it in that way that you offer someone’s kid sister a lift…. After that, the check arrives and he pays. And then I can only point to my shrugless mania as the reason for why I break into a cold sweat when he says the words, “Wanna head out?”
My heart sinks. We’ve only had a quick dinner and he’s ready to bail! Alas! It is my fate…….I respond in classic Molly Ringwald style, “Oh sure, I mean whatever, I mean if you WANTED to get another drink, that’d be fine. Or not. I mean it’s all fine with me.”
Him: “Um…….. enh. I could go either way.”
Me: [sure that we are discussing each other and not the drinks] “You know what? That’s fine. Let’s just go.”
Outside now and nearing his car, I resign myself to wear a stiff upper lip and take the brush off like a man (or, well, you get the point). Instead, he suggests we take a walk through the neighborhood.
wait!…….does he like me or not?
So the stroll turns into a dessert coffee in a cute little cafe (the kind without recognizable corporate logos) where they are having a little film night. Cute. While waiting in line, I am craning to see what film is playing on the screen and that is when, out of nowhere, Jockboy puts his arm around my waist and gently pulls me over to where I can see better.
He DOES like me!!! (and his touch feels really good). Did I mention he also SMELLS really good?
The banter continues and I’m really excited about this blend of flirtation and genuine getting-to-know-eachother conversation. Coffee finished, we head back out into the night. I muster up a little courage and say, “So is that offer for a ride home still valid?”
Him: “Um……………..Well, are we at least walking in the right direction to get you to public transportation?”
Me: [bug eyes and tongue tied into silence]
Him: “I’m kidding” [he elbow pokes me]
Seriously?! Are we on the elementary school program here or is he messing with me on purpose?
We walk to his car and he opens the door for me. Conversation carries easily on the ride to my house and I don’t even give Date 2 a passing thought. It’s obvious! I have no doubt that he will ask me out again AND I’m thinking I might even get a kiss goodnight —something that I almost NEVER do, but the chemistry with this guy is ——palpable.
And then, get this. He pulls up to my house. I mew about having had a nice night, etc. You know, all the things the woman is supposed to say to give the guy the green light to ask her out again. He nods along, agrees. And then, nothing.
Did he NOT get my cue?
Then we hug and its a GOOD hug. A tight one where he does the second squeeze to make it linger. At this point, I know the signs and I can tell that he is going to kiss me. We pull out of the hug and I linger as dictated by dating norms. And…… nothing. For a split second, I feel foolish, thinking that my face is hanging around near his without any purpose. So I quickly pull back.
And then, confused, I sorta repeat the cycle of thanking him, wishing him a good night, etc. Finally, with nothing else TO do, I reach for the car door handle and make my exit.
And now ladies of the jury. Tell me. Will I ever hear from him again?
